long time since I last blogged???

Bloody depressed. 

Thousand things on my mind and everything’s coming crashing towards me; it’s as if I’ve lost all my previous motivation to do things. Honestly cannot sit still for more than 30 minutes. It’s not even fucking fair. 

Dance isn’t going right at all. The amount of effort I’m putting in is disproportional to the amount of results I’m getting. It’s infuriating when you try so hard and practice and practice and nothing goes your fucking way. Sometimes, I think I shouldn’t be so hard on myself but then, if I don’t push myself, who will? Assamese is a really fun dance but I think my execution is close to zero of its actual presentation. Ms Lavanya is going to kill me. She’s already being really nice and she’s being extremely nice and I really want to keep it that way. But but but she’s going to cry when she sees me dance so …

Bollywood’s a mess. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I think seniors are exceptionally pissed off with me because of the jennifer ma’am drama and all. It’s scary that we are the only dance left and I know I’m partly the cause of it because I dragged my teacher in. The fact that I had to drag her out was fucking scary too. I’m pretty sure everyone’s pissed at me and I’m really pissed at myself because I felt as if nothing is going right for the CCA because of me. Oh crap. Will put in my 120% tomorrow because I don’t want to let my seniors, batch mates, juniors down. Aiya my seniors deserve better. 

Failed everything and anything I can for my academic and my dad hates me. Everyone hates me. To be very frank, I’ve been a bad friend to many over the past 6 months and I don’t think I’ve been particularly nice/ caring/ concerned about them when I have to be. 

Aiya. Fuckkkkk


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