post-OBS post birthday depression

I feel so depressed, so many shit not going the way I want. Even my birthday sucked. 

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crap, so sleepy but so many stuff to do

My stamina for all-nighters has diminished. 

I am sad. and unhappy. and sleepy. 

So many responsibilities, sometimes I just hate myself. 

I love my mom. She just gave me a couple of snacks to snack when I get hungry into the night. Aaah crap. Welcome to incomplete eating cycles and vvvv little of a sleepy cycle. 

everyday is a boxer 
he comes at you hard 
sometimes straight 
sometimes a little crooked 
sometimes a miss 
you are the target 
he will keep coming 
he will keep punching 
but 
you will NOT give up. 
you will NOT fall, 
you will stand thereafter, 
a winner.

phooling around in phuket plus other stuff

I went to phuket for hols! 🙂 due to some horrible problem, I can’t upload photos now! but I’ll give yall a nice review of it HAHHAHA 

anyways, we went there on tuesday! it was a really short trip but it was lovely! I love shopping there omg; i got like 2 jumpsuits for $4 each and a lovely dress and tights for really cheap prices so yup! it was lovely. 

there were so many transgenders there; they called themselves “ladyboys” They were the first group of yknow in betweens I met and they were so proud of who they were. I mean it’s weird and all, but they are really lovely human beings in the inside. They are warm and they called you darlings ( which leaves a warm and fuzzy feeling hello pls). And they were really sensitive to people’s feelings. We arrived in the night and it was so scary bc everywhere there were a 1000 electrical cables hanging down all bunched up and I thought I might get electrocuted at one point.

On a side note, I’m writing this now a whole week later bc sch prep and all HAHAH. And I was so tired.

We went snorkelling, went to maya beach and patong island and swam. The water was dayum salty like it’s seawater and it’s meant to be salty but SO SALTY. Yuck, but ooh the fishes were terrifying. They just come at you and it’s TERRIFYING. Like shoals of fish attacking your bare legs – it’s a bit scary! So I stayed at the rocky area and threw bread to the middle of the sea and kicked sand ( sorry self defense) at the fishes so they didn’t really come near me. But karma biatches, so later when I did fish spa, all the poor fishes left to eat my dead skin cells attacked my foot with tickly kisses and yup, my foot was smooth afterwards but the whole 15 minutes was an enriching ( and scary) experience hahaha.

It was short 2 day visit haha but I really enjoyed every minute of it. And I ended the trip with a really really good tom yum soup IT WAS SO DELICIOUS YOU CANT DESCRIBE IT ITS SO CLOSE TO SPICY HEAVEN AAAHHHH

Spew of photos soon (:
Also I straightened my hair before I went and omg the hotel bathrooms were see through hahahha my dad had a tough time but okayyy bye bye

but yeah bye

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first day of school

And so, today marks the day I set foot as a senior in my school and it’s amazing how 2 years have just flown past and there’s 2 more years to the end of my journey. That being said, I need to make the most of the last 2 years I have in RG. 

This day, today was just the beginning of yet another challenging year. I was pushed out of familiarity into an environment so diverse. Really. I had 3 of my primary school friends so I envisioned that maybe I will form deeper bonds with them? Well, wrong bc all three of them have changed so much in the last 2 years and they formed their own cliques and I feel so out of place talking to their craycray bunch of friends. I’m pretty sane till you’ve known me well enough ( any IND member can attests to that fact) . I was placed in a RaLit and RaHist class and I was feeling slightly intimidated by their presence. I don’t want to be the sole underachiever in an overachieving class. It’s shitty. 

My deskie is quite the reserved type and she doesn’t talk much which makes me sad. CCA usually makes me happy but today, everyone was so out-of-sorts and lethargic but I was sort of delighted to see Aparna and Amritha ( my saviours! :DDDD). We discussed CCAO – school just started and there’s tribune board / ind board/ art reach application/ math ish / proposals for trib / MPP proposal to do already on top of whatever snowballing amounts of homework that will come my way. 

Oh shucks, I don’t even feel prepared and there’s still chemistry tuition homework and math tuition homework and tamil tuition homework and upcoming concert practices ( which I look forward to but hey, academics first ) and all I want to do is tumblr, sit and tweet and nearing exams, sit down and cry at my horrible fate. I really hope the year gets better. Another thing, my birthday’s in the middle of OBS and this is a little shitty because it’s along with my ketchup cycle pshhh. 

Not looking forward to whatever is supposedly coming my way in the coming days.